This TOTALLY deserves a knitting book.

Say you find out that your ex-fiance, who dumped you less than a year ago, got married in April.   Better yet, find out that said ex-fiance apparently knocked up his now wife last November, less than 6 months after he dumped you.

Say you were trying really hard to be all like “HAHAHAHA I’m all the better for it, he’s an assmuch,  how about I knit the baby a HAT!”, but really were like “OMG i am now in a FETAL POSITION moaning in pain I must buy something.  I AM SO BITTER even if I am better off in everyway and have a kickass boyfriend who is the best ever and loves me lots. ”

So, which knitting book would you buy?

Monica has suggested these fine titles:

Knitting Lingerie Style

Naughty Needles: Sexy, Saucy Knits for the Bedroom and Beyond (Potter Craft)

Domiknitrix: Whip Your Knitting into Shape (Turtleback)

Monica points out that unfortunately, no one has written “knitting fugly things for fugly babies”.

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17 Responses to “This TOTALLY deserves a knitting book.”

  1. monica Says:
    June 26th, 2007 at 1:31 pm

    I sound like such a bitch esp. with the fugly babies comment. :)

    Ok, I could keep going on about this. You could make that chic suit that’s in Knit 2 Together. You could make a lovely classy top from Glamour Knits for your night out on the town when you run into him.

  2. Nancy Says:
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:08 pm

    He’s a pig.
    You really dodged a bullet there.
    His demon spawn is not worth wasting yarn over.
    Living well is the best revenge.
    And doggonnit, people like you!

  3. domesticat Says:
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:15 pm

    BAHAHAHA fugly things for fugly babies hahaha. i’m glad you have a sense of humor about this.

  4. carrie Says:
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:31 pm

    Oh man, you definitely escaped that one. Maybe you could knit one of the many available fugly hats–the what not to crochet blog has many fine examples, if you crochet. I’d do one for you if you don’t. At least you didn’t come out of the bedroom while he’s in the shower and find a card from another girlfriend in with the cd’s….yeah, don’t ask where that idea came from…

  5. robin Says:
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:37 pm

    Definitely Knitting Lingerie Style - then you can join my KAL - 50 participants and counting. Or I’ll add another suggestion - Fitted Knits - that KAL has 150 participants (and counting.)

    Sorry to hear about that. That actually happened to me as well (in a way) -very soon after I left my ex he impregnated a girl that we both worked with, who it turns out he cheated on me with previously WHILE I WAS HAVING MY WISDOM TEETH EXTRACTED. And they named the kid Cody. Freakiness….

  6. Dee Says:
    June 26th, 2007 at 2:53 pm

    You are lucky to have escaped that creep with your dignity still intact. He was as bland as melba toast and you were settling for much less than you deserve. I am happy you are on the right track and having a much more exciting and fulfilling life without that loser.

    I vote for Knitting Lingerie Style.

  7. Eileen Says:
    June 26th, 2007 at 3:02 pm

    What a pig. Buy at least two books.

  8. La Says:
    June 26th, 2007 at 5:29 pm

    Domiknitrix for certain.

  9. Laurel Says:
    June 26th, 2007 at 7:40 pm

    Oh man, Gail, that sucks. What a f&*ker. You deserve everything good you have now, and he deserves that fugly baby.

  10. lynette Says:
    June 27th, 2007 at 7:02 am

    i can see the book “Threadbared Revisited: Fugly Clothes for Fugly Families” in my mind. and picture him and his fugly family wearing all crocheted items in fugly orange and green.

    i vote for the Knitting Lingerie Style.

    i’m hugging you now!

  11. christine Says:
    June 27th, 2007 at 10:12 am

    Like Monica said, but when you “run” over him with your car………………..

  12. Penny Says:
    June 27th, 2007 at 2:15 pm

    An earlier commenter is right - you deserve two books. Keep looking though cause all the afore mentioned choices suck. I had high hopes for Knitted Lingerie, but it’s riddled with errors and the size range is definitedly limited despite the author’s reputation for designing for large women.

  13. erin.mc Says:
    June 28th, 2007 at 12:27 am

    i would go for the dominitrix myself. and there really should be a book along the lines of “knits to make fugly people fabulous, or at least presentable”, because really take pity on the fugly people. they need the good knits, at the very least just to distract from the fugly.

  14. bunnysquirrel Says:
    June 29th, 2007 at 6:10 am

    Crazy Aunt Purl’s book seems like just the thing.

  15. Mandy Says:
    July 1st, 2007 at 5:36 am

    So I am really behind on my bloglines since I was gone all last week, but I would definitely go with Knitting Lingerie Style. It is such a beautiful book, I really love a lot of the patterns (which aren’t necessarily lingerie.

  16. Jane Says:
    July 5th, 2007 at 3:04 pm

    Why make a choice? Buy all three! It will take at least that many to draw you out of the fetal postion… been there… You need to do whatever it takes to make the pain stop.

  17. Moxy Says:
    July 5th, 2007 at 5:56 pm

    I have Knitting Lingerie Style and I’m not sure where the person above got the idea this book is “riddled with errors” and that the size range is “quite limited”. It’s obvious to me that she doesn’t own the book.

    There are only two errata that have surfaced and they are minor. The gorgeous Bed Jacket that is next on my list starts at 30 inches and goes up to 57 inches at the chest. I mean, how wide of a size range do you want?

    In any event, it’s an excellent book with a LOT of pretty styles that will make you feel great about yourself–you’ll definitely get your money’s worth. The fact that there is a Knitting Lingerie Style Yahoo Group where people can directly ask the author anything they want about it is icing on the cake.

    Make something sexy and swishy from this book and the ex can eat his stinkin’ heart out!

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