Say you find out that your ex-fiance, who dumped you less than a year ago, got married in April.   Better yet, find out that said ex-fiance apparently knocked up his now wife last November, less than 6 months after he dumped you.

Say you were trying really hard to be all like “HAHAHAHA I’m all the better for it, he’s an assmuch,  how about I knit the baby a HAT!”, but really were like “OMG i am now in a FETAL POSITION moaning in pain I must buy something.  I AM SO BITTER even if I am better off in everyway and have a kickass boyfriend who is the best ever and loves me lots. ”

So, which knitting book would you buy?

Monica has suggested these fine titles:

Knitting Lingerie Style

Naughty Needles: Sexy, Saucy Knits for the Bedroom and Beyond (Potter Craft)

Domiknitrix: Whip Your Knitting into Shape (Turtleback)

Monica points out that unfortunately, no one has written “knitting fugly things for fugly babies”.

I think the trick to having a healthy blog is to be busy, but not TOO busy.   What have I been doing lately?

Well, work for one.   Add in friends, the new guy (okay, I’ve been seeing him for awhile, ssssh, don’t tell), actually wanting to knit, read, pet my cats and my reality tv addiction, I’ve sort of ran out of time for blogging.

But don’t worry, I’ve been knitting!  First, we’ve go the hat and cowl set I made for Aimee.  The hat is from the Rowan Plaid Collection book.  The cowl is a heavily revised version of the Cowl from Vogue Knitting on the Go: Scarves (Vogue Knitting On The Go).  Both are made from Rowan Plaid, which is fabulous and sadly discontinued.

I’m working on a mystery project, too.  Yes, I know, its hot pink.  Some might say FLAMINGO PINK.

Oh, and I’ve been working on this Christmas Sock for someone.   The stripy bits are Lorna’s Laces Country Christmas, and the charted bits are Baby Ull Cream and Lorna’s Laces solid Navy.   i did start out with a chart, but I’ve been sort of messing with it.  Making the second sock should be a challenge, because I refused to, oh, write anything down.

What has Aimee been up to?  Apparently making scary Cheesy Goblin Heads for Parties.

And what has Katie been up to?  Being way annoyed at Hunter, who just got nuetered.  It hasn’t seemed to slow him down any.

He’s massive - he’s now almost 7 pounds, and as long as Katie, and as tall.

I think she’s REALLY annoyed.

I know, I fell off the face of the earth. I’m sorry - apparently, after weeks of doing Just Fine Thank You Very Much, I sort of fell apart. I’m not sure anyone noticed, but after just having a sobbing fit Monday, I took Tuesday off, and now I’m back to my normal cheery self!

It helps that I have the best friends ever. My knitting group made me this incrediably awesome afghan out of Cascade 220. Dee organized the whole thing, Laurel put it together, and Kat, Kimberly, Julie, Barb, Diana, Monica, Selena, Kathy, Betty and Doree all made squares. I’m not a big crier, but I almost sobbed like a baby when I saw it.

Doesn’t it look great in my living room? I’m tempted to turn the air conditioning down to 60 so I can snuggle under it. I’m sure it’ll be cold enough very soon, though.

In other knitting news, Dee and I took classes with Nicky Epstein, through the Windy City Knitting Guild. We learned all about embellishments. It was a good series of classes. At the end, I had this lovely pillow top.

It’s all knit - the background is Silky Wool. The edging is some left over Araucania Nature Wool.  To get the little scallopy things, you pick up all the way around the square, and then cast on 3 extra stitches, bind off 5, cast on 3, bind off 5 - you get the idea.   The Orange is left over Barlett Yarns - I can’t remember which of their yarn lines its from.  The flower was made by making a spiral, and then looping it to make a flower shape.  I then plopped the ball we made next in the middle as a joke.  But, it grew on me, and now it’s my poisonous flower pillow.   The stem are 3 i-cords braided.  The snake I just made up - I knit back and forth for the head, and then started an i-cord for the body.

Finally, the contest for the ugly scarf is still open through the weekend.   The Judge,  also known as The Judgerino, will not be available until next week.   The orginal Judge, Aimee the Sis, actually knows one of the contestants, I decided to torture someone else with the task.

What do we spy?

It’s a bookcase full of knitting books! Earlier this evening, it was in one of those evil little IKEA cubes. I put it together all by myself, and managed to rock it into place against the wall in the bedroom.

You know, with all the knit books in one bookcase sort of minimizes the quantity. Now I can buy more books!

Oh, and last night, Dee, Lucia and I met up with Lynette, and attended the Chicago Knit Blogger gathering at Arcadia Knitting. I used to live in that neighborhood 4 years ago, so I was in charge of navigating. Which was perhaps not a great idea, but we didn’t get that lost.

I was a bit overwhelmed, so I didn’t meet many folks, although I recognized folks. I met Franklin, who is super nice, and I attemped to not be all gushing around him.

The shop managed to lure me into buying 4 skeins of Berrocco Ultra Alpaca in a beautiful heathered green. I’m going to knit the Sandy Cardigan from Big Girl Knits : 25 Big, Bold Projects Shaped for Real Women with Real Curves - it calls for Kureyon, which I have, and Brown Sheep Naturespun. I’m going to use the Ultra Alpaca in place of the Naturespun.

Arcadia was my very first yarn shop, back when I was a baby knitter. Its the yarn shop I describe in my essay in Cheaper Than Therapy.  They now have a storefront on Lawrence Ave, and they were great hosts.  Everyone got goodie backs - I ended up with a skein of Fiesta Flirt, and a great Cherry Tree Hill sock pattern.

I was a little too shy to take pictures, but SOMEONE who came with me to the yarn shop did something quite obscene, and I just had to take a picture.  And post it.

I swear to god, I wasn’t the one who did it.  I just took the picture.  Hehehehe.

So, its been a tough few weeks. Last week, I went to a class where I learned I was not particularly persuasive to some types of people. Supposably, I:

Due to the unusual intensity generated by the combination of the triple-high dimensions in this pattern, some people can be intimidated by the influential person’s multifaceted personality and by his or her somewhat bewildering combination of enthusiasm, intensity and productivity.

That explains why I’ve been known to totally blow away the techies I work with.

Here’s a summary of how my “personality style” (according to the Personal Style Indicator - B, I & A) reacts to stress. I know, what stress? :

They become stressed in situations over which they can exercise neither control nor influence, and they very much dislike the feeling of being helpless or temporarily out of control. These styles of peoplealso tend to take creative breaks to get away from everything for a while, to gain new perspectives and then to return with renewed vigor and strength.

So, after all that, I went to Knitche and bought a sheepy tape measure. Because everything is better with a sheepy tape measure.

Well, with the breakup and all, the power of the sheepy tape measure was not enough. This required shoe shopping. And chocolate. And books.

I went to Loehmanns and found a pair of Kenneth Cole Reaction shoes for 12 dollars. They are super cute. I then went to Borders and bought Bittergirl : Getting Over Getting Dumped.  It looked like fun.  I also bought chocolate, but I ate it.

I threw in the Denver Bronco sock to prove that I’m knitting.